When you are pregnant there are a lot of things that roll through your mind. You also hear stories, crazy stories. Stories that make you grateful for your story. I might be writing about birth and labor but this can apply to all of us. Anyone who has someone amazing standing by their side. Do we take the time to remember? To be grateful and to recognize that if we have been given a gift we need to treasure it and cherish it. It may not be perfect but it is most perfectly ours.
I chose my birth coach years before I gave birth. I did not choose him because of his complete professional understanding of labor and delivery. He is by no means the professional as to what can and can’t happen during labor and what to do in every medical situation. I chose him because he is the professional- on me. He knows me better than anyone else. He loves me despite a big belly, grumpy face or crazy cravings. He knows how to comfort me when I am sad, lonely, scared, nervous, intimidated or confused. He knows what I need when I am crying, when I am laughing or when I am frozen from pain. He knew nothing “labor and delivery wise” going into our first sons birth- nothing- just like me. Yes we took classes but they in no way prepared us for our unique experience. That is why I needed him. He can act on his feet when it comes to me. He can be creative and patient. He can be strong amidst the most difficult things I throw his way. On my best and worst days a simple hug or hand on the head calms me more than anything else in this world. Its not the words he might say, it’s the looks on his face, the strength of his presence and the love of over 7 years of marriage that makes him the one I would choose- over any professional- to be by my side through this unpredictable, painful most perfect experience.
In life and in labor I can see many similarities:
He stands beside me
He holds me up when I can't seem to stand
He comforts me
He aches for me
His eyes get teary when he can't take away the pain.
His joy when the trial is over is as deep and as intense as my own
I know that not everyone has a wonderful birth coach like I do. I know some people find themselves alone and hurting before they even step foot in a labor and delivery room. And yes these people have cause to hurt or complain. Yet to those who have it, hang on to it. Too often we as women find ourselves complaining and being ungrateful. Why? Can’t we see what we have. Remember him. Tell him. Tell him how grateful you are for him. Tell him when he is feeling like he doesn’t know how to help or feeling helpless that simply his presence is enough. I don’t know that I could stand in a room like that. With so much emotion and pain, seeing things you might never want to see. I would hope that I could do it for him. So as I pack my hospital bag and for the third time pack my “coach snacks” I am going to smile and be grateful that in this world of inconsistency, non-commitment, and disgust- I have been blessed with this special gift. A husband, a birth coach, my professional, and my love who has decided after two wonderful yet unpredictable births and 7 years of marriage he will stand beside me again. I feel calm and I feel truly honored. I thank my Father in Heaven everyday for him. I ask that I will be able to remember, and to treat him the way I do on my best days- everyday. I sfall short and yet he loves me and stands beside me still.